So I officially threw in the towel..... I cancelled my Weight Watchers membership (effective May 2nd). I didn't think that $140 for 4lbs over 3 months wasn't a good return on investment. I was disappointed with my last weigh in (+ 1) on March 23rd. I just felt like I was throwing money away. Even when I really tried to stick to my weekly points.... I went over. Even when I thought I did good with the tracking and was very active, I still lost a minimal amount (if any). I was frustrated - as I'm not a patient person. So, I gave up tracking, it's been a week and a half. I blew off last week's meeting/weigh-in for the first time since January. But I went tonight. Jerm wasn't around and my reminder when off and the bus stop was right there, so I figured, "what the hey".... and I was a little bit curious.... not to mention I was SURE I gained. I seriously figured I was back to square one.
Annnnnd............. I lost 1.8lbs??? For a total of 6lbs since the first of the year. Go figure?! I'm totally at a loss.... Not that I pigged out. I've yet to indulge in my dozen chicken wings, dipped in ranch, with a pitcher of Bud Light.... but I did eat pizza (twice) and chicken paprikash & dumplings. So when I don't watch and I don't track and don't stress and don't worry and don't feel guilty - I lose??? I mean, I guess I'm doing it the right way.... about a .5lbs a week... they say slow and steady wins the race. But it's taking freaking forever.
I can't tell AT ALL. I don't look different, I don't feel different, nothing fits different. Ugh! I seriously look fat. In my face. I have a double chin... without trying..... without forcing my face down into my neck. It's sooooo disturbing.
I was really active though.... I walked about 6 miles a few weekends ago....and did maybe 4 miles this past weekend. I'm just concerned that I walk so much already, that it doesn't much matter..... Like I have to pick up the pace. Do cardio. Run. Sweat. Boo.
I bought 3 dresses this past winter. They were on super sale from H&M. They are all glamorous, long, low-cut, to the floor, dresses that I want to wear to my upcoming weddings this summer/fall. They are all Mediums. They all "technically" fit.... but spanks will be required. I want them to fit, fit. I don't want to wear spanks. I hate wearing spanks. They are uncomfortable and restricting and makes it hard to pee. But I don't want to feel uncomfortable with knowing that you can see the outline of my stomach.... of my rolls.... of my gut...of my muffin top.... That is even worse.
So I'm at a loss. I feel that I've learned all I can so far at WW. If I continue to go and pay, I'm paying for the meetings - which means I'm paying for the support. I'm not sure if I need that. I usually have a really bad attitude at the meetings. I'm jealous of people or are thinner than I, I'm annoyed with people who are all "rah-rah" about it, I'm jealous of people who met their goal, I'm jealous of people that this actually seems to be WORKING for, that it's easy for them. So I usually have my arms crossed with a scowl on my face. I do like weighing in. But I have a scale at home. I want to continue cooking WW friendly recipes and meals. I plan on continuing on filling at least half my plates with fruits and vegetables. I still plan on paying attention to portion sizes - my body has been helping with that. I know when I over did it. And I need to get the butter out of my house!
I plan on listening to my body...and paying attention....and making good choices.....and hopefully I'll keep plugging along.... 0.5lbs at a time. :) Hopefully I'll start seeing and feeling the results!!! That's the best motivation. And I need it!!!
So that's my "rah rah rah sis koom bah"
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