Changing my password.....

My password for my gmail account was: mylifesucksass11. It's been that password since 2009.  Back in 2009 I was recently seperated from my ex-husband, I was temporarily living with my dad, I hated my temp-that-became-permanant job at the law firm...  I was in a bad place.  I hated everything and I was sad and guilty and unhappy. 


Fast forward, now in 2011 I'm living in my dream city.  I have a job I like.  I have a boyfriend that I love. I have every opportunity to live the life I want.  But I keep finding myself getting in the way.  Why?  Why do I keep getting in my own way?  I found this quote on a blog that I follow:  "What I am holding on to is holding me back".  Isn't that the truth!  Why am I sabotaging myself?  I hate being unhappy... I hate being negative and pissed off and jealous and fat and feeling sorry for myself. 


So, this is my rock bottom moment (it doesn't really feel rock bottom but I'm sick of wasting time) - what am I waiting for?!  I guess I'm waiting for it to be easy, and for it to feel good - but it's not going to....for a long time, if ever. But, I only have one body and one life and I'm the only one who can change it.  I'm sick of wasting my life being fat and unhappy with the way I look and feel.  I'm ready. I'm ready to lose the weight.  I'm ready to be accountable. I'm ready to work on just being happy... satisfied.... live in the present....etc.


The funny thing is, I haven't even publishsed this blog yet - so this is a post to me, from me, about me. 


Stop pussyfooting around!

Goodfellas. "Business is bad? F-you, pay me.  Oh, you had a fire? F-you, pay me.  Place got hit by lightning, huh?  F-you, pay me."

Lesson: If you commit to something, there are no excuses for results.

"It's raining outside?  F-you, work out.  Oh, you're on your period? F-you, work out.  You tired today, huh?  F-you, work out!"